Alone in a Full House

To the wives and mothers who make a house a home.

The woman with a smile so big you'd never guess it. A heart so giving you'd never understand it. The hardest worker, a caring mother, and a faithful wife. She offers more of her life than she should. More than most would.

The children are fed, bathed, and rocked to sleep. Their rooms are filled with everything they need. Clothes are washed and hung. School lunches are prepped or balances paid. Field trip forms are signed. Emails from teachers have been responded too. Bills are paid. Chores are done, but somehow the house is still a mess. Electronics are monitored. Plans for the week are discussed. She knows where the kids need to be and at what times. Work is balanced with the kids and husbands schedule. She goes on date night even when she's too tired. She gets up with the baby in the middle of the night. Each morning she wakes up early and goes to bed late no matter how exhausted she is.

The woman who instills joy in her household. Who tries to connect her family. Wants smiles on everyones faces. Ensures their emotional needs are met. Wants a home not just a house. Creates a safe space. Promotes laughter and happiness. Supports her spouses dreams. Does her best to fulfill his needs. Works hard everyday to provide, protect, and nurture. The woman who gives every piece of her to her family and only a small portion to herself.

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Then, one day she wakes up and feels empty. So much love to go around inside, but she can't feel it anymore. Loneliness sets in. The older children don't care for quality time anymore. Her husband is always leaving. The date nights or even movie nights in are stretched thin. Other people spend more time with her family than she does. Memories are being made, but not with her in it. Nobody really seems to care that she's missing from these moments as long as she's home when they get there. The woman who worked so hard to keep her family connected and a house a home feels abandoned even when they are right in front of her. And now she feels alone in a full house.

She knows they aren't doing it on purpose. She isn't being attacked or purposefully neglected. She knows that they love her and would miss her if she was gone. She understands that they have their own lives to live and it won't always involve her. She knows the children are growing up and will one day soon have their own independent worlds. She understands her husband needs his own individuality apart from her.

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But she also realizes the problem is how much of herself she's given not what they are doing. She sees how much of her life she allowed to be taken away. She has her own goals. Her own dreams, but in the midst of taking care of everyone else she neglected herself. She understands that to fix her feelings she doesn't need her family to change. She needs to give a little more of her to her. That same love and attention she gives to them she needs to give back to herself.

As Mel Robbins would say, Let them and let me.

Love,

Shelley