Now, Let Joy

Ever been so wrapped up in unhappiness that you forget what it feels like to be happy?

Years of pain, of suffering, of tears streaming down your face have left an empty space. It’s hard to get excited over things most people would be jumping up and down over. Anytime you hear good news, you’re constantly wondering what the catch is or when the ball will drop.

For years, life was full of letdowns, unhappy endings, relationship failures, losses, and lies. You understand everyone experiences difficulties, but yours just won’t quit. It isn’t very encouraging.

For years, maybe even half of your life, you just could not catch a break…

Until… one day you do.

Life slowly starts turning around. You’re finally starting to reap what you’ve sown (in a good way). Your sacrifices are finally giving something back to you.

But how do you let joy in?

When you’ve never truly known joy, how do you let it in? Maybe all you have to cling to is that time when you were a little kid—those tiny moments of joy, but those memories are fading. You’re losing grip of what that felt like. The years are going by so fast that the memories of when you felt joy seem distant.

So instead of letting joy in, you push it away along with the people who bring you happiness and goodness. You don’t accept what seems foreign to you because it is easier to continue this path of sorrow. Because it is familiar.

It’s not fair to them, and it’s not fair to you, who had to go through life so inexperienced with this emotion.

So, how do you overcome it?

One morning, I was driving to work, and it hit me. This little voice inside my head that had been blocking my conscious from letting happiness seep in said, "Now, let joy." I had been walking around my little world, unable to be joyful, all because of a past I could not control. All because I had so many terrible things that clouded my present self from experiencing all life could give back to me.

And you know what? After that, I chose joy. I'd like to say it chose me, but I could have everything anyone would ever want, and if I didn't choose to be happy, then I would never be.

That same day, I went to work happier, and I came home happier. After I realized I had to choose joy, I kept on driving, sipping my coffee, and taking in everything around me that brought me joy. The bird on the fence post. The geese crossing the street. The sunrise. The hot cup of coffee. My baby making noises in the back seat. It even brought me joy thinking about how I was going to bring comfort to my patients that day.

One thing about joy is that when you begin to understand it, you find more joy in pleasing others than you do yourself. And that alone brings so much joy.

From then on, anytime I felt empty, when my home was full of love, I reminded myself to

let go & let joy.

It is my constant reminder today, and here's to you finding your joy!

Love,

Shelley