The Ones We Let Go

I don’t know where it happened. The friends I no longer call. The ones who no longer call me. I don’t think we knew when our last visit would be. Often, I find myself broken over the ones I let slip away. The ones I didn’t fight harder to keep. These aren’t just the friends you met on an outing, the ones who text once in a while, or the co-workers you share simple hellos with over sips of coffee in the office.

No, these are the friends that you’ve had for years maybe decades. The ones who honored you at your wedding or you at theirs. The ones who visit for weeks at a time and drive hundreds of miles for a big bear hug! The ones you call about your family drama because they know all about it. The ones who can come over just to watch a movie or read a book without having to entertain. You feel the most relaxed in their presence. These friends make themselves at home and never have to ask for anything. The ones who will go literally anywhere with you. A wedding event, you got it. Some randoms birthday party, they’re there. A hippy bar in an unfamiliar town, just say the word!

Two completely different people sharing each other’s world together.

After spending years with a friend you never thought you’d truly lose you wonder where it all went wrong. It leaves a scar in your heart forever. That extra tug you just can’t seem to shake when someone mentions a memory. Or when you’re by yourself eating yalls favorite food and wine that was basically y'all's tradition.

The truth is, it sucks. It pulls so tightly at your heart strings that you just want to reverse the damage. You want to flash back to the past and forget the future. You don’t understand why this break up had to happen.

You find yourself lost in all the memories made, the carelessness y’all had in each others togetherness. This is more than a friend. This is a sister or brother. The ones who carried you through the first part of your life until…

Life changes & so did you.

Out of the blue y’all grow apart. You didn’t see it coming for a long time. You didn’t know the last visit was the last one. You didn’t realize how much things had changed between y’all until it was right in front of you. You knew then that it had to happen. You don’t understand why and you certainly wish you could change it. But you can’t. You have to move forward. You aren’t envious or mad. You don’t hate them or want anything bad for them. You just know that the lives y’all shared have now taken two different paths and it’s time to let them go. It’s painful and utterly heart shattering. You know you can’t get lost in the whys because it will drive you insane. All you know is no matter what, you love them.

You love them so much you have to let them go.

You don’t want your roads to collide and cause irreversible damage. You can keep hope that one day yalls paths will run parallel again. Until then it’s okay to move on. It’s okay to trust what God has planned for you. It’s also okay that you both grew apart. People change, but in order to move forward sometimes we have to let the ones we love go. It isn’t easy and doesn’t come without guilt. You can trust that you will be alright and so will they.

Every person has a purpose for being in your world whether it’s for a season, decades, or even a lifetime. We can either choose to leave people when the timing is right or force a friendship that will ultimately end destroying you. If it’s meant to let it go, choose to leave peacefully. Don’t force a friendship to be like the past when it has changed. Love them and leave them gracefully and without judgement. Understand you both have changed, and neither is bad.

Trust the process of letting go.

To the friends I’ve loved & lost, I will forever be grateful for our time together & the memories we made. I pray you have the life you’ve always dreamed of & deep down you carry a piece of my heart with you. Yours will forever be in mine.